23 March 2012

New Plan

Well, I’ve thought of a new plan to achieve both my fitness goals and my writing goals. Well, they are both rather “vague” at short term, but in the long term, I have the goal in mind.

Fitness goal: weight 170 at 12% body fat.
Writing goal: Finish editing my novel this year; write short stories and poems; write exercises, blogs, etc.

What I’ve broken my days down into: wake up at 6am for yoga, have breakfast, plan the day, meditation on chakras to balance energy, meditate on other things. Then it is off on my bike to the gym from 7:30 to 9:10ish when I will ride my bike home. Shake, shower, and “primping” until 10. Write from 10 to 4 with 15 minute breaks every hour. After I’m finished writing for the day, I have free time to read, participate in critique groups, etc.

How is that for planning? Now I just have to actually start waking up at 6am and treating these activities with the energy they both deserve. Whew.

02 March 2012

Rejections From Schools

I know this is a little early, and some may consider me pessimistic, but I’d like to think I’m realistic on this one. I’ve received four confirmed rejections from the 19 that I applied to (to which I applied would eliminated the preposition at the end, but sounds stuffy and silly). I am 99% sure that I will receive another 7 rejections. How? I belong to a group on facebook full of people in the same boat as me: MFA applicants for the year 2012. Those 7 additional rejections are from schools that have sent out acceptances, and most have sent out rejections and wait-lists as well. Perhaps I won’t be, but the odds are not in my favor at this point.

The other 8 schools, I completely unsure of; I have no information as of yet. I’m not going to hold my breath. Several people have informed that it only takes one acceptance: yes this is true; however, I would like to have options and choices. If I don’t get funding, I can’t go. I have no money, and no way to get money anymore. I’m broker than broke. So no money = not going (one of the reason I applied to schools where funding was easier to get).

I know I my application wasn’t the strongest it could have been. I had issues gathering three letters of recommendation. It’s like trying to plan a get-to-together. It’s nigh impossible! My writing sample, wasn’t my best, but it was the most polished, and I asked for help in putting it together. My statements were much better this year, but probably sub-par. If I don’t get into any schools, or get enough funding, I’ll be applying again. Which will suck.

Rejection fucking sucks. But it’s a part of my life, and will continue to be a part of my life. In both writing and dating. But that’s another blog.

Anyway, I’ll be working on writing, teaching, and hoping for the best—in a realistic manner. I hope your day is better than mine!

14 February 2012

Valentine's Day-The Ugly Past

9 years and one day ago, I was kicked out of my dad’s house for being gay at age 18.

This sounds awful, but that was over—barely—nine years ago. Since then, the relationship between my dad and myself has repaired to pre-gay levels, maybe stronger.

The point, however, is that Valentine’s Day—for me—has special painful significance due to that experience. Though it is no longer fresh, I am reminded every year of that moment where I thought I would be homeless. Thankfully, my grandma and grandpa took me in, though they were by no means more accepting.

In those years, I’ve always been single on this day, in fact my entire life (excepting when I dated my best girl friend in high school) I’ve been single on this day. Up until last year, it was the worst day of the year, a nasty, institutionalized holiday of pain.

Last year, I decided to be my own valentine, and the day after (because I don’t care all that much, and I’m poor) I bought myself a rose, a card, a bear, and some chocolate as a treat and reminder to love myself. This simple, small action made a powerful difference in my life, and this year it isn’t so painful to be alone.

Perhaps in the future, I’ll be more receptive to a positive day. Today, I’m still not feeling the love, but at least the pain isn’t so great.

02 January 2012


I went on several dates this last week, and planned other that got moved, but one went exceptionally well, and I wasn’t annoyed at the guy at all—surprise, surprise! And of course, I think the postponement went well, when I gave my expectations and thoughts up front. I know, bad me right? Well, here we go...

1) Always be respectful and courteous (this holds true in every type of relationship).

2) Be truthful.

3) Set and time and place if asking another.

4) Know what you expect, and let the other person know as well—it could save hurt feelings.

5) Don’t be afraid to ask for what you want. If no is the answer, accept that.

Well, I could go on, but I think, upon further reflection, that point 1 brings up everything. In my, albeit limited, experience, that one truth always seems to make the difference. If I’m being respectful, I’m being truth, I’m asking or setting times and place, finding expectations, etc.

One last one:

Do what works for you. If you feel you have to “train” dates, train by example. Show them how you want to be treated and everything will go as smoothly as possible.